The wisdom of 20 rupees

Over the past few years, whenever I've taken an autorickshaw or a taxi to go somewhere, I've ended up having some interesting conversations with the drivers. Usually, when I am made to agree to pay that extra 20 rupees for their world-class service, I make it a point to make it count by getting the driver to entertain me during the otherwise bumpy, boring, dusty, noisy and uncomfortable ride.

Here are some interesting words of wisdom from my friends of a few minutes. Some of them sound like sound advice, some others are about as worthless as the sound around me during the ride, while some are simply heart-felt rants from one human to another.

A simple solution to traffic: Stop giving out loans
"Its all the loan that banks give so easily. That is the reason for all the traffic. I'm telling you, if they stop giving all the loan, all these cars will go away. You see, anyone can walk up to a bank and get a loan of 20 or 30 or 50 thousand rupees. Once you have that, you can get a car on EMI. That is how all these cars have increased. Nobody takes the bus or the auto anymore. They should just stop the loans. These cars, they all contain just one person. They drive these cars just as a status symbol."

Property advice: Don't buy, just rent.
"Just look at all this property price sir! It is useless to try and buy. People should just stay on rent. I stay in a flat for 3000 rupees only."
"Where do you stay?"
"It is a little out of the city - about 30 kilometres from the airport"
"And you stay on rent there?"
"Yes - its a 1 bhk."

Petrol pump scandals exposed!
"These bastards, they hold back some petrol in that petrol gun of theirs. When they're pouring, in the end, they just shut the gun a little earlier and some petrol gets stored in it. For every 100 rupees, they make about 1 rupee profit."
"So if they get about 50 cars in a day, and each fills for thousand rupees, they make 500 rupees just like that right? Which means, every month, about 15 thousand rupees of surplus income from just salvaging the petrol in that gun. That's interesting"

Education is everything
"Sir if I was educated like you, I'd not be driving this autorickshaw. I would also get a good job in a nice office. I cant even read sir. I left school in fifth standard. (Stops the auto in front of a board and attempts to read it) See? I can read out the letters but I don't know how to join them."
"But nowadays all you need is a certificate. You only need to finish some course which gives you a document and then you can get a better job"
"Yes sir, but my sister has to be wedded. My mother also needs her medication. If I was educated, it would be so much easier"
In my defence, I did explain in whatever detail I could, to this driver how he could enroll into an NIIT type of course if he only learnt to read a little better.

The meter theft
(This started when I asked why some autos have these big iron boxes around the bottom of their meter)
"These days some thiefs even steal our meter sir. This thing costs about three thousand rupees. Plus there's maintenance - we need to keep it calibrated. There is a mark on the meter on the bottom here which tells when it was last calibrated. If we get caught and the calibration is outdated, the police will just remove the meter and take it away. Cant drive around without a meter."
"You don't have your identification displayed back here. Isn't that also a mandatory thing by RTO?"
"Oh ya that - that's not important. I've been driving around the town for more than 5 years and not even once have I been caught for that. Meter is important sir"

All in a day's work
"Sir I normally try and cover about a 100 or 150 kilometres in a day. I start at around 8 in the morning and go back home after 10 or so. I was going to go home just now when you stopped me."
"Where do you stay?"
"I stay back there near Koramangala."
"Oh so you came all the way in the opposite direction for this?"
(I had gotten into his auto at Forum mall near Koramangala and was taking him to the other side of Old Madras road)
"Yes. I had finished 100 km today. I thought I'll do some more. Now I'll go home"
When we reached my society, I could sense that he was wondering which way to take to go back. I helped him out by pointing out a shortcut that takes one directly to the main road (Old Madras road) without having to go through traffic or longer turns. The only problem was, it would take him a little further away from his ultimate destination: home.
"No problem sir. Just tell me how to get there. It goes to Old Madras right? It doesn't bypass KR Puram?"
"No"
"Haa, then I'll go and take some fare from KR Puram who wants to go on the Outer Ring road and then I'll go home from there."
What he had just outlined as an extremely trivial detour was an ordeal that, for the sake of avoiding it, I would cancel the most important of my plans.

Marriage advice
"I cant get married just yet sir, because I want to save more. Are you married?"
"No", that was a lie but I just didn't see any reason for declaring my marital status to him. Plus, he seemed to want to make a point against marriage and since I'd already agreed to pay my 20 rupees for this conversation, it was counter-productive for me to stop the flow.
"So you live alone?"
"I live with friends"
"Ok. That's what. One shouldn't be in a hurry to get married. My mother will ask me to marry once my sister gets married. I don't want to get into it until I have some savings. This auto driving does not generate savings enough to support a family. Once you get married, I'm telling you sir, your expenses will become more than double"

The cost of favours
I took a late-night auto back home recently. I found this guy at the cross-roads in Koramangala, near the Taco Bell, KFC etc. He started his vehicle, moved a few feet and paused. He then stared for a while in the direction of the Taco Bell. I asked him what was up, but he just shook his head and moved on. I looked in the direction he was staring in and caught the sight of a job opening announcement outside the Taco Bell. They assured an income of about 7,900 rupees per month and had put up a few numbers that candidates could call up for an interview. I assumed this was what he was staring at. A little while later, I decided to verify my assumption because, well, this guy had agreed to go for a fare much higher than the regular 1.5 times metre charge and I needed to make him work for his money.
"You were staring at the job announcement weren't you?" I asked
"Yes"
"Why would you be interested in that? I'm sure if you drove about a 100 km every day (Yes - I was applying the knowledge gained from another auto driver here. See how it all comes together?) even on just metre charge, going by just Rs 10 per km, you will still make about 30k per month. If you remove the cost for fuel, I'm sure you still make about 20k. Those guys would pay you much lesser than that."
"What to do sir, this auto business is not that good. Yeah, I would make 20k but because I have an auto, everyone I know wants a free ride. My friend wants me to drop here, my wife wants me to take her there, my mother wants me to take her to the market. I spend so much of fuel and time in these free rides. They don't understand that this is my business. I have this bloody mobile with me. If I get a call and someone asks me to come pick them up and drop them somewhere, I can't refuse. I have to go and do it. So I spend more than just 10k on fuel."
"Oh. I never imagined it would be such a big expense for you to do these free trips."
"You don't know sir. It's a lot. Plus, if you're driving an auto, you have to do it everyday. If one day you don't do it, you don't get money for that day. A job is simpler - I could not go for a day or two but I will still get paid at the end of the month. I have an assurance there. That assurance is very important. If I take up that job over there, I will definitely be making 8k per month, at least. I could do it part-time and drive my auto. I anyway drive it around at night. Together, the income will help me support my family better."
"Oh you were thinking about it as a part-time job."
"Yes sir. I need the security. This auto driving is OK to make sure you put food on the table everyday but it is no use for generating some real savings. If I had even one child, it would mean a big challenge for me but my wife went ahead and gave me twins!"
"Oh! You've become a father recently? Congratulations. I'm sure even if it's expensive, you must really be happy that you've got twins"
"Yes yes - it warms my heart but it doesn't help. Both the children together need a minimum of Rs 300 every day and the wife needs a minimum of Rs 150. So I need to take home Rs 450 every day just for their medical care. These days doctor's appointments for children also have gone into 1000 and 2000 rupees' range"
"Doctor's appointment costs Rs 150"
"Yes but then they prescribe procedures and medicines and all. By the time you're done, you've spent a lot more, sir."
"That's true"
"So I need something better than just this auto to support them. Kya bataoon yaar (he was really starting to develop a bond here), when you have kids you will know."
"Haha. I imagine I would."
We'd reached my apartments and that is where we concluded our little friendly chat. I guess I did get some worth out of that extra money I paid. I hope it goes and turns into a tiny bottle of medicine for the twins!